One year ago today I almost died. I had no idea that when I woke up early that morning feeling absolutely terrible, my life was about to change. I had a 4-inch blood clot that was lodged in my heart. Danny rushed me to the hospital and the memory of the words spoken by the ER doctor are still, to this day, more than surreal: “Ma’am, you’re having a heart attack.” I should have known the seriousness of the procedure by the words my cardiologist kept repeating to the nurse, “keep the paddles ready!” We found out later how touch and go the whole thing was and how God really did spare my life that day, one year ago, today!
So much has changed since then. I’ve gotten in shape. I exercise regularly, and have lost a bunch of weight. I take daily medicines that my doctor says should keep me alive for many years to come. But most of all, I have a new perspective on life. I’m not afraid of death. I know where I’ll be spending eternity and honestly look forward to meeting the Lord face to face as well as seeing loved ones again who have gone ahead. But even more than before, I appreciate people. I appreciate time. I appreciate life.
One of the things I grappled with following my near death experience was a deep desire for life; something I’ve always taken for granted. I begged God to give me more time. I struggled with wondering if it was a bit “unspiritual” to want to stay on earth longer. Shouldn’t I want to see the Lord? The conclusion I came up with is that life is a gift. Many times throughout the Bible, God blessed people with long life; it’s a blessing he gives and we were born with a natural, innate desire to live. This may sound a bit crazy but I guess people struggle with all kinds of different thoughts when they go through a time like the one I went through.
They say the deeper an emotion is, the deeper the memory. That said, there are people I will never forget; cards written, phone calls, meals sent. People who drove many miles to visit; others who sacraficially gave us money to help cover the financial costs. One dear friend came to my hospital room and braided my hair, combing through the tangled mess for one whole hour. And the words “I’m praying for you,” well, they took on a whole new meaning, one year ago today.
Romans 8 reads, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” I can vouch for that! God has worked good in my life, and I know it’s for His purpose. I’m blessed today; that much I do know.
So, one year and four stents later, here I am, rejoicing in life: Thanking God for being so kind, so merciful, so generous. It’s been a different ride, full of lots of unexpected turns, but what a great ride it’s been. And it all began one year ago today!
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